Over You

Even heroes have the right to bleed.

I realize that I blog more when I'm unhappy. And it is true because I'm unable to express myself. Whether if it is through words or emotions. No one will ever understand how depressed I am right now. Probably God does. And I hope He reads this. I have no where else to go to. Have you ever felt like you're stuck in an empty box trying to escape but have no idea how to. Yeah, when life gets the best of you. You know you're the only person that can get yourself back up. And I'm on the floor right now, knowing that I need to get up quick but somehow my body refuses to do so. I'm just lying there like a dead corpse, how pathetic.

What do you do when people around you takes advantage of you?

What do you do when your family aren't in good condition?

What do you do when your home is not a home anymore? 

What do you do when you have no sense of direction in life like others?

What do you do when responsibilities starts building up and you have no idea how to face it?

What do you do when emotions start wearing off?

What do you do when all those smiles and laughter are hidden with burdens and sorrows?

I'm only me. No more and no less. And am able to do only my best. But when best is not enough anymore, I have the rights to break down and cry. Imperfections. Flaws. Mistakes. Turns out to be the definition of me. I can't seem to reach out no longer. Like an overstretched rubber band. Useless to everyone. What am I to do? Nothing seems to work anymore.

But it's close to the end of another chapter. A very sucky one indeed. One that I'd never want to be reminded of. But I can't give up just yet. Finishing this lap took me so much effort and ending it here would seem such a waste. But somehow, a part of me wants to stay in this moment despite how terrible I feel right now. Because I know, the next chapter is waiting for me and it isn't any easier. Getting a job after graduating, hopefully would help enlighten my own burdens. Making the decision to pay for my own studies in Uni, hopefully would enlighten my parent's burden. Responsibilities, hopefully God is with me through it all. I know I can't carry it all with my bare hands. Too small, too fragile, too gentle. 

I know most of us go through personal problems as well. Some may even face more problems than I do right now. And most of you would probably tell me to cheer up and appreciate life as it is. I understand and definitely am not against that. Because I myself too advice people in that manner when everything seems to be in order in my life. But it is not, right now. This feeling that I have, nothing can compare. And it may look like a rant to you, but to me is the only way to release myself from these thoughts at a time like this.

Sigh life. When will the world turn around.

evon

Back In Time

Don't focus on what you have left behind,

Or you will never be able to see what lies ahead of you.

As promised before, I will post about my trip to Singapore back in August. I know, I'm such a lazy bum when it comes to this. But I finally did it! That's the awesome part of it, no? :) It has already been 3 months since then. Well, this was a very impromptu trip to S'pore because our main purpose was for Ling's graduation from City Harvest Bible College. So proud of her, btw! 

But since I planned to go for her graduation, why not go for a vacation as well right? See, I'm so smart. Started off wondering who to bring for this trip, because I didn't wanna go alone. That would be kind of boring. So that is why the boyfriend and bff of mine ended up accompanying me in this trip hahaha. I know they awesome <3 

Well, my dad came along as well la. He wanted to visit my aunt, so he drove us down. Not bad what. Free transport to S'pore, all we need is our unexpired password. So we booked our Universal Studio S'pore tickets back at home before leaving because I was told that they have limited tickets sold per day. Interesting. 

So there you have us, enjoying our time in USS. I tell you, I love the roller coasters so much! Bff was so afraid, so it was only me and the boyfriend who sat the crazy rides. Eventhough I was jumping around in my line and everyone was practically staring at me but who cares. I was afraid too but I love the excitement!! Show you the crazy ride - Battlestar Galactica. Btw, it's a duel roller coaster ride. The good verses the evil

Basically we had tons of fun there. You all should go as well! Besides that, we went shopping hehe. How can it be a vacation without shopping right? :) I tell you, everything well most of the things are like $10 at Bugis Street. Omg, I'm so going back to shop in S'pore next year. This is the proof.

Most of those shopping pictures were taken by the boyfriend because me and bff practically walked in and out of every shop like nobody's business haha.

There we have my favorite $1 ice cream since I was a little girl. Yes, must be $1 and must be from Singapore also haha. Seriously loved it. But before finishing my post of my awesome trip to S'pore, guess who we met along the way? Omg, this makes the trip x1000000000 times more awesome that it already was.

Yes, this is the only picture I have of the 3 of us. Well, our first time together in another country! Hehehehe <3 Besides that, we even met up with Cheryl. It was great to see her again. Had a lunch meet up with her.

Tadaa, so there you have it. My awesome trip to S'pore :) I really hope to go there again next year. And maybe, just maybe. I'll be able to see Xiaxue or Qiu Qiu hahahahaha *dreams* Anyways, till next time when I post about my Jayesslee concert experience and other funz.

evon

Run To You

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.

Live the life you have imagined.

Okay okay, you caught me. I'm running away from my assignments :\

Gaaah, this is pathetic. I can't believe I already wrote 7 essays and I still have 3 more essays to go. How can this be. And yet I am here bragging about it. I NEED BRAIN JUICE. MORE. I guess this is the life of a college student. Being all stressed up, losing much hair, pimples and eating to release all that tense. Boohoo. So much for awesome November. I'll make sure my kids are born in the beginning or middle of the year. Or else they'd suffer like I do. Anyways, classes have been kinda bleh to me. Assignments assignments quizzes assignments presentations. Everyone is rushing because we're about to finish our finals and graduation. How I long for that day to arrive faster. Admitting I'm already gonna be another year older, I guess it's a good thing after all. And I really hope of getting new experiences in uni life.

Recently I have alot of thoughts running through my mind. I don't just wanna be an ordinary girl who works in the cooperate world, trying to survive with the economical and technological changes in this world. I wanna be someone, even if not noticed, but someone who would help make this world a slight better than before. But I don't know how. I heard friends who'd wanna be a dentist so that they can go into the mission field and serve people with free services. Some who'd wanna be a lawyer to serve the community and gain some rights from there. Or even some who'd be a doctor so that they can go and help at places that are suffering from famine. So, what would I wanna be? What can I be? I don't know yet. God, please reveal it to me for you know best.

Okay I shall hit back my books, reports and assignments now!
Reminder: Update blog on my Singapore trip and Jayesslee concert :)





evon

#Wishlist

Don't cry because it's over,

Smile because it happened.

Okay, so my 19th birthday is coming. I don't know what to expect. It's my last year of being a teen. Wow, days just pass by so fast when you're enjoying with loved ones. Sooner or later, everyone will start studying oversea. Leaving great memories back here in M'sia. I can't wait till it's my turn. Gosh the future sounds scary huh? But that's the fun of it. You'll never what to expect. Adventure! I'm so ready for you.

Now, my #wishlist to be achieved by the time I turn 20.

1. New phone ( Just had to put it down, eventhough I know I'm getting one soon hehe )

2. New specs ( My old one is so annoying.. pfft )

3. Pretty camera ( Yes, I still want this! )

4. More shoes ( Gaaah, whai so tempting... )

5. Clarasonic Plus ( This is a MUST! Zomg )

6. Facial steamer/sauna

7. Give me hair extensions/treatment please kthxbai. ( I want long-er hair/better hair )

8. New vintage handbag ( My brown one is tearing apart sobz. Hopefully I can get one similar to this )

9. A few spaghetti straps in different colours

10. Epilator ( I'd be a happy girl if I own this hehehe )

Hmm, what should I ask my parents to get me? I really want......

evon