When water turns red

 Emotions have taught mankind to reason.

The night has yet come & haunt me once more. The eagerness within me to close my eyes & dream about dreams that would never come true. But words & thoughts keep coming into this head of mine to distract me. Oh, this uninvited feeling that is long gone has come for a visit. Welcome back, you. I remember always telling myself that no one is ever perfect. No one & when I say no one it means not even myself *reminder to self that I shall not see myself as a perfect or close-to-perfect soul*. But sometimes or would I say, most of the time my emotions tense to take over of me like a little green monster. To most girls, jealousy is their little green monster but not me. And I can say I'm pretty much sick & tired of it already. I dislike being on a roller coaster ride with my emotions. It's makes me wanna puke when I look at myself in the mirror. It makes me question myself, " What more am I of them to judge & teach people the way that I do? ", " Who am I to say such words of hurt & cruelty to? " I bring such disgrace to myself, gives me the chills. As I look closely to the mirror & wipe away all those thick make up. " What do I see? " Open pores, pimples & scars all over my face. Imperfection. So the question bugs me again. " Who am I to do so? "

Lord Jesus, change me.

evon